so much closer (Summer 07)
June 22, 2007
Note: I was listening to “Transatlanticism” by Death Cab for Cutie–lyrics italicized. If you know the song, it’ll make sense. I took a bit of poetic license. This was a protected post under Xanga, but I thought that it would be alright to make it public.
“I need You so much closer…”
That melancholy melody repeats in my head as my heart aches for more of God’s presence, aches for healing and wholeness and a break from feeling so humbled and frustrated.
“I need You so much closer…”
Hilary calls and I honestly tell her how I’m doing. Pretenses are worthless. The tears flow and I keep moving.
“I need You so much closer…”
Pete sweetly walks with me to the music building, holds my hand and listens.
“I need You so much closer…”
As we embrace on those old steps, me discouraged and tired, him seeking to give me strength, an old lady passes by and catches my eye and smiles at me.
“I need You so much closer…”
He squeezes my hand and I know exactly the message of love and hope it communicates.
“I need You so much closer…”
I regroup after finding the music library closed and feel the cool breeze on my legs and the sun gives just the right amount of warmth, taking some of the sting out of my anxious heart.
“I need You so much closer…”
Thank You for the moments when I feel You closer. All I need to do is ask and You’re so faithful to provide reminders of the fact you hear me.
The grey area is hard. I’m struggling and humbled. But I know One who hears me.
“Let me know that You hear me. Let me know Your touch.
Let me know that You love me, and let that be enough.” (Switchfoot)
